blog post

so it has been over three months since brittany left suddenly and she still hasn't said a word to me. i'm trying not to let it bother me too much, but she is (was? fuck idek anymore) my best/only friend and i miss her so damn much. she reactivated her facebook account a while back, and all she does is post pictures of her meeting all of her internet friends in real life and just sigh

everyone says i'm being stupid/petty/stubborn but i feel like after she did what she did, i'm allowed to feel like that? like, she and her family literally left overnight without a word to anybody and she continues to ignore me. i guess i just feel like i have a right to be annoyed with her. but then on the other hand i feel like i should be over it by now? idk. people keep telling me to just talk to her, make the first move, but i did that about a week after she left and she answered me about a week later in super vague terms so i told that if/when she decided she wanted to speak and be friends still, then i would be here. and yet.. nothing.

so yeah people keep telling me to talk her but i still feel pretty betrayed and i want to feel like she actually does want to know me still and like it's not just me trying and people just aren't getting that i guess???

sigh i'm just being dumb 

(no subject)

it's been a while since i looked at my friends page/wrote in this blog, so i'll just write a little update i think. christmas was lovely. the weather was too warm of course, but on the whole is was very nice. i was super pleased with the presents that i got for the family (although, i had ordered a soda stream for my dad and it isn't supposed to arrive until next week. unfortunately, he saw the email about it and knows about it. bummer, but he seemed happy about it).

little photo of my own christmas haul! my little sister was very lovely and told to me to write down the names of comics that i like and she went and bought these for me. she's even asked if she can borrow batgirl off of me :>

hope everyone on my friendslist had a lovely christmas (or indeed, a lovely tuesday if you don't celebrate) ♡

Literary Ladies We Love: A Celebration of Women in Literature

a little fall of rain, can hardly hurt me now
i am yours now: eponine [download]

 I have always liked Éponine, and yet not in a way many other fans seem to. I don't idolise her, and I don't raise my fists in the air and cry about how she was wronged by Cosette, how she deserved to have Marius, because none of that is simply true. What I like about Éponine was that she is flawed, so terribly flawed.

Éponine is not a good person: She is a thief, and she is a liar, and she is jealous and she is cruel. She is in love with a boy who is in love with a girl from her past, a girl she tormented relentlessly with her parents and her sister. She is obsessed with him, creepy in a way, but she is so blinded by her own feelings, she fail's to see his true opinion of her. In the end though, she grows beyond her initial characterisation. Éponine's flaws don't make me hate her - they make me pity her. They make me see her as the young, naive child that she truly is, lovesick and broken. And well, I really can't blame her for that. 

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[done for the Literary Ladies We Love: A Celebration of Women in Literature]

Literary Ladies We Love: A Celebration of Women In Literature

what's the matter with you cosette? have you been too much on your own?
stay with me: cosette [download]

Admittedly, Cosette is not a character that I initially liked. It wasn't that I actively hated her, but I found her... boring. It took me a little while to warm up to her, but when I did, I saw a completely different side of her than at first. 

The Cosette I grew to love was a fighter - it may not have been as outright as other characters, but the fight, the spark, was there. It just took me time to notice. This is a young girl whose mother, a woman who went through horrible treatment to make sure her daughter was safe and loved, unknowingly left her in the care of cruel, awful people. A young girl who was treated no better than a slave. Cosette was a miserable child, unloved and alone, until she was whisked away by the lovely Jean Valjean, a man who truly loved her as a daughter, and yet kept her sheltered and isolated from the world in an effort to protect her. Yet despite the hardships she has faced in her life, Cosette is loyal, and sweet and kind, and she does not let her unhappy childhood rule over the woman she is to become. 

And so when she finally met and fell in love with Marius, I wasn't annoyed - I didn't feel like she had 'stolen' him from Éponine, like she was less deserving of his love. Instead, I felt so happy for her. Because Cosette deserved that much. She deserved to be loved, and to lead a life independent of her adoptive father, and yes, she deserved to 'have' Marius. Throughout Cosette's life, she had been shuttled off this way and that, remaining loyal to Jean Valjean and doing as he said, going where he said. So when people say that Cosette's love of Marius is selfish? I smile. Because Cosette deserves a little selfishness in her life - and I don't blame her for it. Not one bit. 

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[done for the Literary Ladies We Love: A Celebration of Women in Literature]


announcement + advertisement!

if there's one thing you should know about me, it's that i'm the flakiest person ever. so that other blog i started? yeah, not happening anymore. some beautiful, beautiful person on ontd bought me a rename token, so - vanillateapot -----> stephaniebrown ~ this blog is here to stay C:

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